Just because they eat grass due to acute food shortages doesn’t mean it’s not a happy place.

(TIME) — According to a global happiness index released in North Korea, the country and its allies are the most cheerful countries in the world. Naturally, the “American Empire” strikes Pyongyang as just plain sad.

Shanghaiist reports that North Korea’s Chosun Central Television recently came out with a happiness index compiled by local researchers. Their findings? China is the happiest place on the planet, earning 100 points (a perfect score!). At number two is none other than North Korea itself. Cuba, Iran and Venezuela (in that order) round out the top five.

The United States places dead last, coming in 203rd. South Korea is nearly just as depressed a nation; it ranks 152nd on the list. Some spots, North Korea’s research indicates, are just nowhere near as smiley as the Axis of Evil.

The Chinese net is ablaze with the results, screen grabs of which have been posted to popular sites. Implored one commenter on the Chinese online forum Mop: “Please send me to the U.S. so I can suffer, too.”

HT: Billy Hallowell @ The Blaze